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Bahero
06-21-2010, 09:28 PM
Hi my name is Daniel Poat and i have been working hard on making a portfolio that i can use to represent myself towards recruiters in the gaming industry. My portfolio is available online and i was hoping that some of you would like to take a look of it and post your opinions on here, it is not fully finished a couple of developments i already have planned is to beef out the games im making sections with more details and to add pictures or videos to make it more appealing to read.

http://www.games-designer.co.uk/danpoat/

I would also like to thank Rich for making this all possible.

Dave-O
06-21-2010, 09:45 PM
I'm loving the section where you give your opinions on RPGs and where they can make changes and how to incorperate those changes... It's got me thinking! :D
Great work on the portfolio, it's looking good!

Dave-O

eric_moose
06-21-2010, 10:07 PM
great work m8 just been working on my own site shud be ready in next few gud to see others work as a mile marker nice one !

yaustar
06-21-2010, 10:24 PM
Lots of stuff from your GDDs which is good (although incomplete), however there is nothing tangible to play or look at in its current state which is ultimately what hiring managers want to see. Ideas that are implemented and brought to life. Work towards that, and you should have a decent portfolio.

Article to read: http://www.gamecareerguide.com/features/464/the_game_design_portfolio_is_.php

Bahero
06-21-2010, 10:49 PM
Hey guys thank for the compliments i'm working on it constantly every day trying to get enough on there to show off my creative side and eventually variety.

Yauster thank you very much for that link it was very insightful, i was aware that without least of all prototypes of my games then it would be very difficult to raise awareness, however with BHMM working on robobuddy with me, mykitty'saninja and silver working on monster academy, and 2 dans working on world of opportunity with me i hope that i will have either playable demos, pictures or video of gameplay footage to help decorate my portfolio.

Kren
06-21-2010, 11:17 PM
Right.... trying to be constructive.
You really need to get someone to proof read your content. Several chunks of it contain grammar errors or are very confusing to read - sentences sometimes run on past oddly placed punctuation, and in many places your change from singular to plural and back again. For all that, the basis of the text is good, relevant and fairly interesting, and at least it's not in text speak!

Your menu structure is well laid out and works from all the pages I tried, and I couldn't see any dead links or missing content.

Layout of the site is generally good - restrained use of colour, font and emphasis, no mystery meat and a few graphics interspersed to make things interesting. It might be worth redrawing the graphic where you demonstrate branching though, as it looks a little rough.

In a couple of places you have links to external sites for images - like the Oblivion map at http://z.about.com/d/vgstrategies/1/0/Q/1/OblivionMapAGM_v1.1.jpg
, and you also have a link to file:///C:/Users/Daniel/AppData/Local/Temp/moz-screenshot.png which you might want to check. Be careful about linking to external sites, as you're dependent on them not moving the file or continuing to host it for your site to work.

You might want to offer any documents, pitches or high concepts you've done as downloads on the site, so if someone were interested in your work they could grab a copy for reference, and wouldn't need to be online to view or show elements of your portfolio.

But good effort overall!

Bahero
06-22-2010, 12:10 PM
Thank you Kren, i will have 3 people check it again lol it's annoying how they keep missing stuff like this, if you could point out in what sections you have found the errors that would be helpful.

Downloadable documents is a very interesting idea and i will definetly take it into account when i reach a stage where i'm comfortable with all the content.

Kren
06-22-2010, 01:37 PM
Ok... stuff like:

On your home page - "and I am a proud game designer student of Train2Game" - reads as if you are a designer of proud games. It would scan better as "and I am a proud student of games design, studying with Train2Game".

On the "RPG opinion page", you wrote "There is however some parts of the genre that doesn't really change". Changing this to "don't really change" is more correct.

On the discussion of RPG types, you have "I have nothing wrong with direct RPGs", which doesn't make sense - changing it to something like "I find nothing wrong with direct RPGs" makes it read correctly.

Further down the page, you have the word choice/choose repeated several times. Unless you're deliberately aiming for repitition for effect, hit Shift-F7 in word or check an online thesauraus to get some alternate words that describe different ways of selecting or picking a preference to highlight possible options to pick... to illustrate the point.

It's that sort of thing - not glaring spelling mistakes, but sentences that don't scan or read well off the page. I've often found that reading back copy to myself out loud highlights this very quickly (though you do sound like a bit of a berk) - but if you can get past that you can quickly find alternate ways to phrase things that sound natural and have better flow.